Other’s Needs

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My thoughts before recovery were always about me, me, me!  Thinking of others helps me forget my own troubles for a while.  Service work within the Fellowship is another means of focusing on others rather than constantly harping on my current “problems.”  Sometimes I have to give God time to respond to my requests or to suggest a solution for a problem.  Before recovery I was always self-centered and self-absorbed. I have much to be thankful for now as I have learned to broaden my world to include others.  The more I think of others, the less I concentrate on my own problems. This is a good thing for which I am grateful.

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Meditate

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Meditation reminds me that I am not alone – it is truly a choice for me.  I can change my “status” any time.  All I need do is pick up the phone and call someone, or, get in my car and drive somewhere.  Either way God is with me, always.  I’m only alone when I choose to be, and even then I am not alone, for God is always near by.  If it is God’s will that I not be alone, physically, then someone will appear in my life.  Meditation reminds me of all my many blessings, both the physical, emotional, and the spiritual, as well.  I need to stop and look at what I have, instead of focusing on what I don’t.  The Program has truly been my saving grace – and for all those blessings, I say: Thanks, God!

Roll With The Punches

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A.A. teaches me so many lessons. Each day I have the opportunity to learn new behaviors and new responses.  Today I can use the lessons about patience, acceptance, and change – or I can just let myself get upset and ruin my whole day.  I have choices today – and so I’m off to have a good meal, to hear another woman’s story of recovery and to get lots of hugs from some very special people. 

A Genuine Humility

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we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This is to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 192

Experience has taught me that my alcoholic personality tends to be grandiose. While having seemingly good intentions, I can go off on tangents in pursuit of my “causes.” My ego takes over and I lose sight of my primary purpose. I may even take credit for God’s handiwork in my life. Such an overstated feeling of my own importance is dangerous to my sobriety and could cause great harm to A.A. as a whole. My safeguard, the Twelfth Tradition, serves to keep me humble. I realize, both as an individual and as a member of the Fellowship, that I cannot boast of my accomplishments, and that “God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”

Be Present

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The past is just that – past.  I can’t undo it, I can’t change it. and I can no longer deny it.  It was what it was.  The good news is that I no longer have to repeat those behaviors that caused me all that shame. Today, I behave in such a manor that respect is expected from others and I have come to respect myself as a woman, as a sober alcoholic and as a child of God.  I no longer allow others to disrespect me in any way.  I have a voice in the way I am treated, and I use it.

Stepping Into The Sunlight

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But first of all we shall want sunlight; nothing much can grow in the dark. Meditation is our step out into the sun.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 10

Sometimes I think I don’t have time for prayer and meditation, forgetting that I always found the time to drink. It is possible to make time for anything I want to do if I want it badly enough. When I start the routine of prayer and meditation, it’s a good idea to plan to devote a small amount of time to it. I read a page from our Fellowship’s books in the morning, and say “Thank You, God.” when I go to bed at night. As prayer becomes a habit, I will increase the time spent on it, without even noticing the foray it makes into my busy day. If I have trouble praying, I just repeat the Lord’s Prayer because it really covers everything.

Then I think of what I can be grateful for and say a word of thanks. I don’t need to shut myself in a closet to pray. It can be done even in a room full of people. I just remove myself mentally for an instant. As the practice of prayer continues, I will find I don’t need words, for God can, and does, hear my thoughts through silence.

Once Upon A Time

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I apologize for not posting the last few days. I had a car accident yesterday, but most of all I drank. It was a horrible couple of weeks but im on track with others and the program and it took me a while to come to terms with my own disease.  My lack of control has been the defining element for accepting myself as an alcoholic.  And here I am today, and many years have passed, and I am still sober, still upright, and still in service to my Program – what an amazing success story.  I know that we each arrive at the tables via our own path, while mine was long and arduous, it has been exactly the way God intended it to be.  He knew I needed to be alone to get sober, He knew that I would need A.A. and my service commitments to stay sane, and He knew that I have needed the love and guidance that He and the Program have graced me with.  I am eternally grateful for all my blessings.
Thanks again for the concern

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