Unmanageable

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Step Three was about having faith in the God of my understanding and demonstrating that faith by not making life changing decisions, but believing that God has a plan for me.  A plan which enables God to perform the “miracles” He has in my life, when I hold still long enough for them to materialize.  I came to know that He takes better care of me than I ever did.  I have been blessed to find the serenity I needed to “stay the path.”  Today, I can and do make the decision to turn my life and my will over to the God of my understanding.  I know God loves me and that He blesses me with courage and wisdom. That He manages my life and He has done for me what I could not do for myself. I have faith in God and I believe that He is a Power greater than the disease of alcoholism.  My recovery is a gift, and my sobriety is my gift to God.

THE DETERMINATION OF OUR FOUNDERS(Daily Reflections)

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A year and six months later these three had succeeded with seven more.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 159

If it had not been for the fierce determination of our founders, A.A. would have quickly faded like so many other so-called good causes. I look at the hundreds of meetings weekly in the city where I live and I know A.A. is available twenty-four hours a day. If I had had to hang on with nothing but hope and a desire not to drink, experiencing rejection wherever I went, I would have sought the easier, softer way and returned to my previous way of life.

A.A. Offers Much

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Recovery has blessed me with so much more than sobriety.  I have purpose and direction in my life today.  A.A. affords me many opportunities to be of service to others.  That was one of the attractions to A.A. for me. I could get as involved as I wanted.  Sometimes that means just attending meetings and working with a sponsor.  Other times that can be as a “trusted servant” in support of my Fellowship; or at District or Area levels.  There are Conferences that need support as well as Assemblies, not to mention both Region and World Services.  There are many ways to serve.  I have found that service enhances my personal recovery.  We each choose for ourselves how we want to define our own recovery program.  Some choose to be of service and others choose to keep their program simple. Sobriety has truly been a gift that grows with time.  I came searching for a way out of the pain, and I not only found that but I also found a whole new world, filled with friends, and those I have come to call my “Family”

The True Cost

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The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life, which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.
–Henry David Thoreau
I claim that my purpose and direction in life is to stay sober and help others and to that end I do what is termed “service work.”  I believe in being of service to others in whatever way that defines itself.  I enjoy service work particularly when it comes to sponsoring others.  My time with my sponsees is very important to me, and requires my undivided attention.  Between sponsoring and fulfilling other service commitments I am busy, sometimes too busy, and forget to take some time for me and for my recovery program.  I work to keep my priorities straight;  God, Me, Program, and then comes family and friends.  It’s up to me to take care of me, that I might then be there for others, be they family or friends.  The cost of things includes the initial cost but maintenance of a “thing” can really have an impact on my life, my time and my intentions.  Taking my time with decisions that create change in my life is always a good thing to do.  A day at a time, a step at a time, and a “thing” at a time.

Change Happens

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The Serenity Prayer urges me to “have the Courage to change the things I can.” There is great comfort in the familiar, and for me that can be as simple as writing this 24. Change can challenge my comfort level and it seems the older I get the less I like changes in my life.  I have come to an acceptance of  what works in my life, and what doesn’t.  I knew change was inevitable when I first arrived at the doors of A.A. Little did I realize just how deep those changes were.  There’s the story of the newcomer who asked her sponsor about change, and she said there are only three things she needed to change:  everything she did, everything she said, and everything she thought.  In other words there have been many changes I needed to make in my desire for sobriety and recovery. Change takes, acceptance, faith, and the courage to be willing to endure those changes in my life patterns.

KEEP THE PLUG IN THE JUG

A Promise Kept

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I often say that making and keeping close relationships are the hardest things we do in life.  I love the friendships I have today. They are as varied as my recovery.  I know a lot of people, mostly those in the Program, and have been fortunate to have made a few solid friends in the process of becoming a sober woman.  Because I have moved twice in my recovery, I now have friends is several locations.  The relationships I developed with respect to being a sponsor, and having a sponsor, have proven to be the most challenging from both standpoints.  I feel a closeness and an afinity with others that I never felt before recovery.  I had few solid friends, most were very transient as that was my life style. We come to the tables searching for love and understanding, and we discover that these are the blessings of being a sober alcoholic.  Sometimes we come to know that our “knight” in shining armor is really the person you’re sitting next to in a meeting of A.A

My Past

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I am thankful that God gave me enough brains that I was able to do the work for which I was hired.  But in so far as my working relationships, I never really had any, due to my fear of being “found out.”  Feelings of being inferior were “born” early in my life, and much of what I went through worked to underscore that belief.  I envied those who had the brains and opportunity to advance to jobs that paid well.  My alcoholism was also a factor.  It was easy to get jobs back then. I have found other ways of being useful, God has a purpose for me. . . stay sober and help others.

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