In the process of recovery the slogan of “Live and Let Live” is heard. This tells me to mind my own business, and that how others choose to live their lives is not my business. My recovery is my business, my sobriety is my business, and my behavior is my business. I need to focus on my side of the street. What others do is not my business – but I can learn from the behavior of others. What others choose to do does not always work for me. My behavior is governed by the spiritual principles – and it is something that is an on-going process of learning. I learn from my mistakes, and I learn from those who have “been there and done that.” The experiences of others can teach me about the consequences of my behavior. Life is a process of learning, and sometimes it takes more than one time to learn the lesson that God wants me to learn. My job is to work towards improvement in both my actions and my attitudes.
No one else is responsible for me. When I first came to the Program I came with an attitude of being a victim. That attitude kept me from accepting responsibility for my own behavior. It was easier to blame others for my “lot” in life. But there was no room for growth and change with an attitude of being a victim. I had to stand up and take responsibility for my life, so that change and growth could begin. The first step in this process was to say “My name is Bonnie, and I’m an alcoholic.” Being an alcoholic meant that I could then look for a solution to this malady, and the solution was A.A. I could not find a solution by saying “My name is Bonnie and I’m a victim.” Being a victim keeps me from the power to change what accepting responsibility brings. I am the architect of my life, I am the one who chooses the path I travel. I am the one who accepts responsibility for the life I choose to live. I work in tandem with the God of my understanding, that I might remain accepting, willing, and open to new ways of living, new ways of achieving sobriety and new ways of living a life of recovery.
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